Oh, Bother
by Michelle Berger
Summary: As Kenny McCormick decends into a life of drinking and partying, Pip Pirrup is willing to do anything to stop him from turning into the drunken, drugged up rednecks like his parents. KennyPip, StanWendy, implied KyleKenny.
1. Chapter I

**Chapter I**

* * *

Kenny McCormick always had the best parties. Sure, his house was small, dingy and smelt worse than Eric Cartman's fat ass, but none of that mattered, not since Kenny always had enough free booze for everyone. No one knew how Kenny could ever afford it, but at each and every one of his parties there was plenty of beer and vodka, and everyone was welcomed in.

No matter how well you knew Kenny or how much you hated the poor blond, you would never turn down an invitation to his famous booze bashes. Even some of the most unpopular boys in South Park showed up: Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Tweek Tweak and most notably, Philip "Pip" Pirrup.

One of everyone's favourite aspects of Kenny's parties – aside from all the drunken fun – Was watching Pip Pirrup and Kenny McCormick together.

Pip had always come to Kenny's parties, even though Kenny's friends forever taunted him and called him French. Even Timmy could tell that Pip adored the blond, partying boy. Pip was willing to be insulted and beat up by Kenny's best friends, just for the chance to be near Kenny himself. The little Brit's presence seemed welcomed by Kenny, who had been openly bisexual since mid-ninth grade.

Finally, around the time the boys entered the tenth grade, Kenny asked Pip on a date to the movies.

"M-me?" Pip had stuttered.

"No, the Pip behind you."

Pip had turned and looked behind him, and from that moment on he and Kenny were together. Rumours flooded South Park on how far they had gone together, all knew Pip was as much a virgin as one could get, whereas Kenny… No one truly knew for sure, but every boy in town at some point borrowed something from his vast porno collection, except for Pip of course.

It was a late Friday evening and Kenny's parents passed out in their bedroom while tens of teenagers drunk and partied in the McCormick living room. Kenny, with a bottle of beer in one hand, lounged and laughed with his friends on the old, stained sofa. As usual, Pip stood ten feet away, watching the boy he adored, but keeping his distance from Kenny's foul-mouthed friends.

"…And so I told that bitch, you're an Uncle Fucker! And now she won't fuck me!"

"You're such a dumbass, Cartman." Stan rolled his eyes at his fat friend before wrapping an arm around Wendy Testaburger, his long-time girlfriend who sat beside him and Kenny on the old sofa, playing with Stan's dark, shoulder-length hair. Kenny eyed the couple, smirking, before he called Pip.

"Pip! Get your cute ass over here, I miss you!"

Pip blushed quickly as heads turned to watch the couple interact. Pip quickly walked to the sofa and turned to sit next to Kenny, when Kenny grabbed him by his hips, pulling the terrified Brit onto his lap.

"Eek!"

"Don't you want to sit on my lap babe?"

"My, you smell of beer…"

Kenny pouted.

"Oh! Yes, yes I am fine here, Kenneth."

"Good." Kenny wrapped his arms around Pip's lithe waist.

"Ew, Kenny, you have a French fag on your lap!" Cartman laughed, followed by giggles from those listening.

"I'm NOT fre- Mmhm!"

Kenny, at that point hardly conscious of what was being said after his sixth beer, forced his lips onto those of Pip's, trying to silence him.

"Aw, dude!" Cartman made a face.

Kenny finally pulled away, leaving a shocked Pip gasping. Kenny relaxed back into the sofa, still holding his now half-empty beer in one hand and grabbing a still shaken Pip's tense ass with his free hand.

_Oh bother, he's doing it again. I love Kenneth oh so much, but when he drinks at his silly parties, he changes!_

_I'll admit, the feel of Kenneth's slender fingers squeezing at my rear is not a bad feeling at all! However, in front of oh so many people… It is strange! I could feel Kenneth's friend, Kyle, his gaze on where Kenneth's hand was the entire him, it was a tad embarrassing._

_Kenneth's kisses taste foul when he drinks as much as he does. Kenneth can't quite tell what he's doing, I don't think, as sometimes he will shove his tongue in my ear! I think he was aiming for my mouth, oh dear._

"Oh!" Pip jumped when Kenny began to work at taking the young Brit's pants off. Kenny was having more trouble than he thought at finding the zipper to Pip's pants, thanks to six beers, giving Pip the time to slap Kenny's hand away. Pip looked up briefly to see all of Kenny's close friends staring wide-eyed at the two of them.

"Kenny, maybe you've had too much to drink…" Kyle tried to take the beer out of Kenny's hand, but Kenny kicked Kyle away.

"This isn't for me… It's for Pip!" Kenny put the bottle to Pip's lips.

"Oh, no, I couldn't!"

Kenny's friends watched in amazement as Kenny forced the bottle into Pip's mouth, tipping the contents in. Pip was not a drinker and quickly spat the beer out, making a face at the revolting taste left in his mouth.

"That's it!" Kyle jumped to his feet again, this time slapping the beer bottle away from both Pip and Kenny. Kenny simply giggled.

"Kenny, you're going to bed. I'll clean up after the party, you're way too wasted." Kyle pushed Pip off of Kenny and grabbed Kenny by his arm, dragging the giggling, drunken blond up to his bedroom. Pip followed behind to assure Kenny was doing well.

"You keep a watch on him, okay?" Kyle asked as he forced Kenny onto the mattress that was on the floor that served as Kenny's bed.

"Right-o."

"I'm going back to the party." Kyle left the room. The door hadn't even clicked shut behind him before Kenny grabbed Pip's leg, pulling Pip on top of him.

"Mmhm, how are you cutie?"

"S-smashing, Kenneth." Pip smiled shyly.

"You look so sexy tonight, are you trying to tease me?"

"Oh dear me no!"

Kenny grinned and rolled Pip over, making himself on top before he kissed the quivering Brit, who was much more willing to receive the kiss now in the privacy of Kenny's bedroom, without Kyle or Cartman's disgusted eyes watching.

"Mmm, do all you Brits taste so good?"

Pip flushed pink and smiled up at the drowsy drunk that he treasured so much.

"Hey, Pip?"

"Yes Kenneth?"

"Let's fuck."

"Oh, bother…"


	2. Chapter II

**Chapter II**

* * *

All the color drained from Pip's small face as soon as he heard Kenny's quite forward statement.

"C'mon… Let's fuck… Damn these buttons are tricky…" Kenny murmured as he managed to pop a couple of the buttons open on Pip's shirt.

"Kenny, please, no."

"What?"

"I don't want to make love here… Not tonight."

"I thought you loved me!"

"I do! I just want my first time to be... Special. Do you understand what I mean Kenneth?"

"Is this because I'm poor?"

"Goodness no! I'm just not ready yet, Kenneth!"

"Oh… But Pip… I want you so badly… You look so hot…" Kenny collapsed on the bed. Pip jumped in shock and quickly felt for the beating of Kenny's heart. Just to be safe, Pip figured he could stay the night with Kenny. He knew that whenever Kenny would wake up, he would be in no mood for sex… Far from it.

The next morning, as Pip expected, he heard the familiar sound of a hung over, vomiting Kenny from the bathroom nearest Kenny's bedroom.

_Ah. Kenny's fallen ill again from all that drinking. Why am I not surprised? I walked through the creaky corridor to the bathroom to see him. He was a terrible mess, so I helped Kenneth as much as I could by holding his blond locks back as he continued to throw up his drinks from the previous evening. How I do love his hair, he has such a pretty blond color to his hair, much nicer than my own blond locks, certainly._

_Kenneth did not speak to me until after he ate breakfast that morning. By then, the hang over seemed to be much less painful._

_"Pip, what happened last night?"_

_"Oh, just a jolly good party. You drank an awful lot, that's why Kyle made you go to bed."_

_"Why were you in bed with me?"_

_"Kyle wished for me to watch you."_

_"Did we have sex?"_

_"Certainly not!"_

_"Good." Kenneth smiled and walked around the kitchen table to where I sat. Kenneth kneeled down and put his arms around me._

_"Whenever we do fuck for the first time, I want to be sober enough to remember what your cute face looked like while we were at it. I bet you look so fucking hot when you cum..."_

_I blushed, but smiled anyways. Kenny always spoke like that... He was no gentleman, but that was part of why I loved him so."Smashing idea, Kenneth."_

_Kenneth simply laughed in that adorable, childish way of his before he placed one of his usual, sloppy wet kisses on my neck that always felt ever so good._

_"Pipkins, I need to shower."_

_"Alrightie then."_

_"Care to join me?"_

_"Oh! Well… Perhaps…"_

_"No sex, I promise."_

_"Well, alright."_

_I followed Kenneth back to the bathroom. It was small, but from a previous showering experience with Kenneth, I knew we could both fit with just enough room._

_Kenneth was eager to strip down to nothing, but he could see how hesitant I was to pull down my trousers._

_"Wait." Kenneth simply said before running out of the bathroom, no care to the fact that he was completely nude and his brother Kevin walking by. It seemed to be a usual occurrence at their home._

_Kenneth returned holding what looked similar to his boxers, which now lay discarded in a heap near my feet._

_"What are those?"_

_"Swimming trunks, Pipkins. Put them on, I'll leave while you change." Kenneth tossed the so-called swimming trunks at me before exiting the bathroom, shutting the door to give me my privacy. Luckily Kenneth and I were both quite slender and his orange swimming trunks fit me nicely, though I can't say they were the most comfortable clothing I had ever worn._

_Kenneth smiled as he re-entered the room. He looked me over with the same look as a hungry dog, but he kept his hands to himself like a good lad as we stepped into the shower._

_As I turned on the showerhead and we were sprayed with first scolding hot, then freezing cold water (as usual, with the broken shower of the McCormicks), Kenny soaped up a cloth he had brought with him and began to lather my chest slowly._

_"So, yesterday's party any good Pip?" Kenny asked as he rubbed the soapy cloth down my back._

_"All your parties are jolly good, Kenneth."_

_"Did I miss anything big?"_

_"Well, something was slipped into Tweek's coffee; I hear he's awfully sick."_

_I rested my chin on Kenny's shoulder as he rubbed his fingers gently up and down my soapy back._

_"Tweekers is an insane kid, who would want to fuck him up any more?"_

_"Who knows… Oh!" I jumped when Kenneth slapped my rear end, slipping and almost hitting my head on the shower wall had I not grabbed Kenneth's arm in time._

_"Did I behave myself last night?" Kenneth smirked as he pulled me to my feet._

_"Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that-_

_The doorbell rang and Kenneth immediately perked up._

_"Oh shit!" Kenneth jumped out of the shower immediately and sloppily wrapped a towel around his waist in a hurry as he ran to get the door._

_"Oh dear."_

Kyle, Stan and Eric stood at the door.

"Dude, you said you were coming with us to get videogames!" Stan glared from the doorway at his sopping wet friend.

"Crap dudes… I lost track of time, I had a killer hangover. Let me get dressed."

"No kidding, you should have seen yourself."

"Shut up." Kenny said before rushing back to the bathroom, discarding his towel on the floor before getting dressed.

"Pip?"

"Yes Kenneth?"

"You wanna come to the store with me?"

"Certainly!" Pip hopped out of the shower. Kenny returned to his friends to give Pip his privacy to change.

"Finally! C'mon you guys, let's go." Cartman turned to leave.

"Wait, Pip's coming."

"What the fuck? The frenchie STAYED OVER? Gross!" Cartman said.

"Shut the fuck up! He was just taking care of me!"

"Dammit, he really has to come?" Stan sighed as Pip entered the room and immediately gulped in fear of the three boys.

"Pip, why don't you just stay here and wait for Kenny to get back and fuck your ass again? It's all you limey French boys are good for anyways." Cartman laughed.

"Gah!" Pip furiously slapped Cartman, but his strength was nothing compared to the three times larger bully, who's punch sent Pip flying back into the wall simply because of how scrawny the little British blonde was. Pip squeaked in pain before running to Kenny's bedroom.

"CARTMAN YOU ASS!" Kenny screamed.

"Heheh, he went to the bedroom. I guess he liked my suggestion. Must be French mating season or something."

"Get out! All of you leave!"

"Fine, we'll go without you."

"Good!"

"Oh, Kenny- Party still on tonight?" Stan piped in before Kenny had the chance to slam the door on them.

"Ug… Yeah, it is."

"Awesome. See you tonight Kenny!"

Kenny quickly slammed the door and ran to his bedroom. A look of horror spread over his face when he found Pip clutching his shoulder on Kenny's bed, sobbing.

Kenny quickly ran to Pip's side, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off to examine his aching arm.

"Just gonna bruise, you'll be okay. God, I hate that fat ass."

Pip simply clung to Kenny's arm, shook up and sniffling.

"I'm… not… French…"

Kenny simply chuckled and pulled Pip in close.

"You are a charming English man, I know."

Kenny pecked the blushing Brit on his lips before slowly placing kisses down Pip's shirtless chest. Kenny could feel Pip tense as the kisses got closer and closer to his crotch area, making Kenny quickly moved back up.

"D-don't you have to go with your friends, K-Kenneth0?"

"Nah, fuck them. I'd rather spend the day with you, anyways."

"Really?"

"Of course! What do you say we go out for ice cream?"

"Splendid!" Pip quickly pulled his shirt back on and did the buttons up as fast as he could. "But, Kenneth, can you afford it?"

"Don't worry about it Pipkins."

"…Right-o."

Kenny took Pip by his delicate, small hand and walked him to the town's ice cream shop. As always, the hand-holding couple got more than a few odd stares.

"You can have anything you want, gorgeous, my treat."

"Jolly good Kenneth, thank you oh so much. I'll just have that little, vanilla swirly one."

"That's ALL?"

"That's all!"

"Alright… I'll have three scoops of Cookie Dough in the Chocolate Cone, and he'll have the Vanilla soft serve, but put it in the best damn cone you've got and cover it with sprinkles or something."

In minutes, Kenny handed Pip his vanilla ice cream coated in so many sprinkles, the ice cream went unseen.

"Oh dear."

Pip and Kenny sat outside the ice cream shop, enjoying their treat together. Kenny managed to wolf his down entirely while Pip still slowly licked at the vanilla ice cream.

"This is quite big."

"Oh, I've seen bigger things."

"Well so have I but… Kenneth! You're so filthy!" Pip rolled his eyes when he saw Kenny was gesturing towards his crotch and had his usual big, glowing smirk across his face.

"Speaking of filthy, Pip, I've been meaning to ask… When will we finally have sex?"

Pip suddenly felt the eyes of all the surrounding townspeople fall upon him.

"Oh, must we discuss this here?"

"Why not?"

"It just seems to draw attention to us."

"If I wanted to draw attention to us, I'd do this." Kenny leaned in close and slowly licked up Pip's jawbone.

"Eep! Kenneth!"

"You had a bit of ice cream there."

Kenny saw Pip's face soon turned deep pink from embarrassment.

"Aw Pip, I'm sorry."

"May we just go home?"

"Yeah." Kenny stood up, putting an arm around Pip, and began to walk him home.

"Your place or mine?"

"Well, mine is quite lonely, but if you would like to get rid of me, off to my place 'tis!"

"Aw, I don't want to get rid of you! I told you I wanted to spend the whole day with you, and I'm keeping my promise. Let's go to my place, I need a beer anyways."

"But Kenneth, I-

Kenny froze when they got in front of his house. He saw his parents, standing in the doorway holding a black box with a broken lock, glaring at their son.

"There you are, you bastard." Kenny's father, Stuart McCormick, looked down at the two with disgust.

"M-me?" Pip looked confused and quickly clung to Kenny once again, but gasped as he was shoved away.

"Go home Pip."

"But Kenneth-

"Kenny you have some explaining to do!" Carol McCormick, drunk and high, yelled.

"NOW! FUCK, GO!"

Pip squealed softly in fear as he was pushed further away by Kenny, falling to the sidewalk, before Kenny ran inside, trying to get the black box from his mother before Stuart McCormick slammed the door shut behind him.

Pip simply stared in horror at the closed door.

_Kenneth hates me. He truly hates me. This is what I get for refusing to talk about sex in public. Now he will never hold me again. _

He could hear the fight from where he stood, Kenny was screaming at his parents and things were surly being thrown. Pip stood up, feeling blood on his palms from the fall, and ran home as quickly as he could, trying his best to hold his tears in.


	3. Chapter III

**Chapter III**

* * *

Pip sat on his bed, clutching the teddy bear Kenny had gotten him at a town Fair a month ago, wetting its velvety fur with tears. Of all the times Pip had seen Kenny's parents fighting with him, Kenny never minded Pip's presence, but this time was different. Did Kenny hate him? Kenny had reason to; Pip was never comfortable with public displays of affection which Kenny, on the other hand, adored. Pip could hardly talk about sex with Kenny alone; forget about in front of townsfolk, whereas Kenny loved to tell everyone about his sexual antics and crazy sex stories he had heard.

Pip was staring down at his scratched up palms, picking off some dried blood, when he heard a knock at his door. Wiping his eyes on the teddy bear, Pip quickly ran downstairs to answer the door. The quivering, red-eyed Brit froze when he saw his visitor.

A bag on his back packed full of clothes, with one hand was carrying another crammed-full bag of belongings and the other hand over a black eye, Kenny looked terrible.

"I thought I should say bye."

Pip burst into tears for the third time that day.

"W-what did I d-do that made you h-hate me, K-Kenneth?"

"I love you Pip, that's never changed. But I have to go away."

"Why?!"

"Well, my parents kicked me out. There's no way in hell I'm staying in one of South Park's sleazy motels. I'm catching the next train out of here."

Pip hesitated.

"I'll miss you, cutie. Don't forget how much I love you." Kenny pulled Pip in for a hug, but Pip jumped back.

"N-no!"

"What?"

"Don't leave!"

"Oh… Pip…"

"You can stay with me! My parents are long dead, they won't mind!"

"Well… Pip, are you sure about this?"

"Yes!"

Kenny fell forward into a tight embrace. He could feel tears begin to fill up his eyes. None of his friends - his best friends, people who he had known his entire life - had offered him a place to stay. It had been one of the nicest gestures anyone could have made, and the greatest gift he had ever received.

"Thanks Pipkins."

"No problem Kenneth."

Pip aided Kenny in lugging his bag upstairs to his bedroom.

"I hope you don't mind, there's only one bedroom."

"Only if you don't mind sharing, babe."

"Oh of course not! Here, I'll make you some space."

Kenny smiled and watched as Pip rushed around the room, re-arranging his closet and emptying drawers.

"You can have my bow tie drawer-

"Pip, I have like no clothes. I don't need any space, see?" Kenny dumped the few outfits he owned into a corner of the bedroom. "Perfect."

"Oh… Right-o."

Kenny laid back down on the bed, resting his hand back on his throbbing black eye, sighing softly.

"Oh dear! Would you like me to get you some ice, Kenneth?"

"Sure, thanks dude."

Pip pranced off quickly, leaving Kenny to explore his new room. Aside from the mess he himself created, Pip's room was perfectly clean. Kenny smiled, the boy was too perfect for his own good, and it was just one of the reasons he loved him so much. Kenny strode over to the window that overlooked Pip's street, but froze when he saw Pip walking down the road.

"PIP!"

Pip looked around in confusion before looking towards the house, seeing Kenny in the now opened window.

"Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"To buy some ice!"

"Get back here!"

"Whatever for?"

"Just come back!"

Pip turned around and headed back into the house. Kenny resumed exploring Pip's bedroom when he saw a magazine just barely sticking out from under Pip's bed. A huge smirk formed on Kenny's lips.

As Kenny heard Pip opening the bedroom door, he grabbed the magazine and opened one of the folded pages to show to Pip. Pip stared at the long page, with a somewhat confused look on his face.

"You're a fan of Oprah, too?" Pip asked curiously.

Kenny quickly looked down to see the cover of the Oprah magazine he held and chuckled softly at his mistake.

"Oh… Hey Pip, I've got some things you might like."

"Oh?"

Pip watched Kenny as he searched through his backpack. Pip nervously eyed the strange sex toys and condoms of every color that Kenny tossed out as his search continued.

"Aha!" Kenny threw a few magazines to Pip, who managed to catch them all.

"What is this? Oh… Oh my!" Pip flipped through the porno magazine with a look of shock and slight curiosity.

"Well, this is something… Oh! Telephone! Who would call me? You're already here!" Pip quickly discarded the magazines and pranced off to get the telephone, which could be heard ringing. Kenny listened quietly, trying to hear Pip's conversation through the bedroom door. He could hear a sound of frustration in Pip's voice, so he quickly went downstairs.

"I HATE French people, they are smelly! I've never even eaten crepes before!" Pip was turning red.

"Pip, who is it?" Kenny poked his head in the kitchen.

"It's Eric… Here Kenneth, you speak with him! He called me a Crepe Sucker!"

"Cartman?"

"Oh, hello Kenny."

"How did you get Pip's number?"

"That doesn't matter. Me and the guys were just wondering, WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"What?"

"You said to be at your crappy little shack for six!"

"Oh fuck! Hang on… Pipkins?"

"Yes?"

"Could we have a party here?"

"Oh dear… Well if it's just a few people, I suppose…"

"Okay, fat ass you there?"

"Fuck you Kenny."

"Party moved. Tell everyone to come to Pip's."

"Oh COME ON! Pip's?!"

"Yes. Pip's. It's nicer here, anyways."

"Fiiiiine."

Kenny hung up and looked to see a terrified Pip staring at him.

"Are you certain this is a good idea, Kenneth?"

Kenny walked over to Pip and gave him a quick kiss.

"Mhm, it will be fine."

Pip sighed softly and rested his head on Kenny's chest, listening to the steady heartbeat of the blond, hugging him close with his arms.

"I'll make sure they don't make a big mess of your place, 'kay?"

"Jolly good, thank you."

"Do you got any booze around?"

"Heavens no! Have you forgotten I don't drink?"

"I know Pipkins... Well, I should unpack my beer then or else a lot of people are gonna be pissed off."

"Must you always drink at these parties?"

"It's just for fun, Pipkins."

"But I-

The doorbell rang and Kenny quickly kissed Pip on his lips before rushing to the door and greeting his three friends.

"Hey guys, I was just about to get the beer! Come in!"

Stan, Kyle and Cartman waltzed right in, crashing on Pip's lovely, clean sofa as Kenny ran upstairs to get the drinks.

"Got your hat, frenchie!" Cartman exclaimed, entering the kitchen and swiping Pip's hat off the top of his head.

"Oh dear." Pip sighed, "This shall be a long night."


	4. Chapter IV

**Chapter IV**

* * *

Pip, after having his hat retrieved by a fairly sober Kenny, retreated to his room. The tidy Brit could not handle watching all the teenagers flood his house, smoking cigarettes indoors, leaving mugs of beer on coffee tables without coasters and vomiting in the plants. Besides, he had to keep guard of his bedroom to make sure no one tried having sex in it.

After forcing Wendy and Stan away, Pip turned to one of Kenny's still packed bags. He could see the black box just barely sticking out the top of the bag.

_This is it. This is why Kenneth is living with me. What's the big deal?_

Pip crawled over to the bag and slowly pulled out the box. It was much lighter than he expected. Pip turned it around to see Kenny had replaced the old lock, and it was shut this time. Returning to Kenny's bag, Pip searched for the key, but found none, only plenty more colourful, flavoured condoms. Pip quietly wondered to himself why they came flavoured.

_Maybe Kenneth__ will explain it to me one day!_

Pip put the box down and slowly snuck downstairs, desperately trying to avoid the partying drunks that seemed to be everywhere in his house. Carefully hopping over a passed out Token's legs, Pip entered the kitchen.

Steering around Kenny, who sat on the floor, and avoiding knocking over Kenny's beer bottle pyramid, Pip went to his utensil drawer near the sink and searched around until he found a clean metal fork. Pip noted that someone had already gone through his utensil drawer and that most of the knives were missing, and being the ever so good host, decided it was best to find the culprit before someone got hurt.

"Kenneth, have you been using any knives lately?"

Kenny vigorously shook his head no, accidentally knocking over his beer bottle pyramid. One of the bottles smashed into pieces. The drunken Kenny began to sloppily clean them up, making Pip worry further.

"Kenneth, what will you be doing with that broken bottle?"

"I don't know… Think it'll taste good with cake?"

"Kenneth!"

"Nah I'm kidding Pip! This kinda stuff only goes good with meat… Do you got any hamburgers lying around?"

Pip rushed to Kenny's side and snatched every last shard of glass from him.

"How many beers have you drunk, Kenneth?"

Kenny looked to the beer bottles that now rolled around him.

"One… three… four… two… seven… two… Ten!"

Pip recounted, seeing several bottles on the floor in addition to the broken one. After cleaning up the mess, Pip rushed to Kyle.

"Kyle!"

"What do you want, Pip?" Kyle whined.

"Could you perhaps keep an eye on Kenneth? He's had a tad too much to drink…"

"Like always. Fine Pip."

"Thank you ever so much!"

Pip rushed off, about to run back upstairs when he recalled the missing knives. Pip searched throughout the main floor but found no one with his knives, just a lot of smelly, drunken teens. Peeking into the basement, Pip realised that the party had gone downstairs as well. Pip could smell the thick stench of marijuana as he crept downstairs.

Walking around Wendy and Stan making out on the floor and through a circle of stoned hippies being yelled at by Cartman, Pip came upon the four most renowned Goth students of South Park, cutting at their own arms.

"Excuse me chaps-

"Who the hell are you?" Henrietta, the somewhat overweight goth asked in her usual hate-filled tone.

"Why, I live here…"

"What a conformist." The curly-haired Goth boy rolled his eyes.

"Do you have a painful, pointless life? Are you sad and hate-filled?" The smallest of the group asked. Pip blinked.

"Well… I do believe I'm not that sad."

"Fuckin' conformist." The curly-haired Goth spoke again.

"I was just hoping you wouldn't mind giving me my knives back. I wouldn't want anyone getting hurt."

"Shut up!" The boy with the long fringe snapped.

"We are expressing our sorrow here. Leave us be!" Henrietta glared at the terrified Pip.

"But how does cutting yourself do any good? Isn't that what those Emo chaps usually do?"

The Goths all looked at each other before abandoning the knives and standing up.

"Your party sucks." The curly-haired Goth mumbled before pushing Pip away and exiting the basement with his group of followers close behind him.

Pip shrugged it off and gathered up the knives, carrying them up to his bedroom for safe keeping. Relieved to see no one was in his bedroom, Pip pulled the fork he had been carrying out of his pocket and returned to Kenny's black box.

"I hope Kenneth doesn't hate me for this…" Pip whispered to himself softly as he jammed the fork into the lock, carefully picking at it until he heard the satisfying click of the opening lock. Throwing the now ruined fork aside, Pip carefully removed the lock and slowly opened the black box.

Pip stared at the empty box before him. Nothing? Whatever it had contained, his parents must have taken. There was no way they had gotten so furious at an empty box, although, they were quite drugged up at the time. Gazing inside, Pip noticed the bottom of the box was bizarrely placed; it appeared to be slanted strangely. Poking it down to a straight angle, Pip realised that there was a bottom compartment secretly hidden.

Slowly lifting the bottom of the box up, Pip gasped at what he discovered. Countless bills of five, ten and twenty dollars lined the bottom of the box, at least a few hundred dollars worth, and on top of all the money lay a bank card with KENNETH MCCORMICK engraved in it, signed on the back with the blonde's sloppy signature.

Still gaping at the sight, Pip couldn't believe it. Kenny was known for being a poor broke, from the poorest family in town. How could he have so much money kept a secret? How did he get it all? What was it all for? How much more was in the bank account? Fingering through the money, Pip counted hundreds.

Pip cut off his train of thoughts when he heard the knob to the bedroom turn. Pip quickly pushed the box back and ran to the door, finding a drunken Craig trying to get in.

"Craig, please go away."

"I need to sleep!"

"Can't you go home to sleep?"

"Yeah… But…"

"Please Craig; I don't have time for this."

Pip quickly shut the door on the protesting boy and ran back to the box, quickly placing the money and bank card back as they were when he first broke in before carefully sliding the bottom back into place over the thousands of dollars. Shutting and locking the black box, Pip slipped it back into Kenny's bag.

Kenny, completely oblivious that his dear Pip was going through his most personal item, had better things to concern himself with, such as figuring out where he had left his pants, and why he wasn't wearing pants.

When Pip came downstairs to find the dazed blond in his boxers, he nearly had a fit. However, being the polite Brit, he calmly went over to Kyle, who had managed to stay sober enough to answer questions.

"Kyle?"

"What?" Kyle whined again.

"I thought you would be keeping an eye on Kenneth."

"I am! I figured he'd stop drinking if we dared him to do something."

"Oh my, what did you tell him to do?"

"He just had some quality time with that sofa cushion."

"Oh dear!"

"Hah, don't worry about it Pip. Anyways, Cartman hid his pants, so he'll be preoccupied for quite some time."

"Well… Although I dislike having my sofa cushions violated, I suppose a thanks is in order."

"It's okay. It was fun."

"Smashing."

Pip watched Kenny prance around, asking everyone he saw if they had seen any orange pants lately. Some laughed, some shrugged, but most didn't answer since they had passed out long ago.

"Pip! I need to borrow pants." Kenny ran over to Pip and pulled him close.

"Well I suppose you can. You don't know where yours are?"

"Noooope." Kenny began attempting to unbutton Pip's pants he wore.

"Oh! Heavens Kenneth! I need these, there are more pants upstairs! But I do believe your friend Eric took your pants."

"Eric?" Kenny was too drunk to make the connection.

"The one you call Cartman."

"Oh, you mean fat ass."

With that, Kenny took off downstairs to find Cartman. Pip sighed in relief, but groaned again when Kenny ran back upstairs, this time without his boxers.

"Kenneth! What has happened to your undergarments?" asked Pip, slowly eyeing Kenny's exposed lower half.

"I traded them for my pants."

"Then, where are your pants?"

"Aw, shit!"

"Come on Kenneth, go up to bed and I'll find them for you."

"Okie Dokie!"

Pip quickly walked downstairs to find Cartman laughing hysterically amongst a few friends, Kenny's clothing in a heap beside him.

"Eric, may I have Kenneth's clothing?"

"What? No way you limey piece of crap."

Pip held his frustration in, clenching his fists.

"Please, Kenneth really does need them."

"He's just gonna take 'em down again to bone you. Stupid French fag."

"Ack!" Pip quickly ran back upstairs and to his bedroom, only to find the room Kenny-less.

Pip walked back down to the living room to find Kenny, still without pants or boxers, lounging on the sofa with his feet kicked up and resting on Kyle's lap.

"Kenneth! I told you to go to the bedroom!"

Kenny jumped up in a split-second.

"I'm getting laid! Sweet!"

Pip whined softly and turned to Kyle once again.

"What now?"

"I have to take care of Kenneth and-

"Oh Jesus, he IS gonna knock boots."

"Oh bother… I just hoped you could clear out the guests?"

"Fine, Pip."

Pip turned to find Kenny had already dashed upstairs to the bedroom. Pip returned upstairs slowly, realising he was going to have a difficult task of getting Kenny to sleep.

"Kenneth, it's time to… Oh my."

Pip's eyes widened at the sight of Kenny, now fully stripped and lying on the bed eagerly, legs spread, gazing at Pip with a lustful yet dazed look.

"Come heeeere, Pip."

"Kenneth! You are drunk out of your own mind!"

"So?"

"So it disturbs me!"

"You don't like it?"

"Not at all."

"Then I'll stop."

"You truly will?"

"Under one condition."

"That being?"

"You come here, and we'll see what's in those pretty British shorts you have on."

"Oh dear… But, you promise you'll stop your drinking?"

"Swear it!" Kenny's voice was slurred.

Hesitantly, Pip locked the bedroom door behind him and gradually walked to the bedside. Warily, he removed his bowtie, followed by his shirt, which he nearly folded and placed by the bedside.

Kenny leaned forward and attempted to unzip Pip's trousers with his mouth, causing Pip to yelp out.

"Let me, Kenneth." Pip, with shaky fingers, first unbuttoned and zipped down his pants. Slowly lowering them, Kenny's eyes quickly darted towards Pip's undergarments.

"Ooooh!" Kenny grinned as he reached for them and in a second, yanked them down to Pip's ankles. Pip, clearly terrified about the situation he was in with his drunken boyfriend, looked around the room nervously before returning his gaze to Kenny, who beamed with drunken and horny delight at the sight before him. Already hard, Kenny pulled Pip to the bed, licking his lips as he did so.

Pip hardly realised how much he was quivering as Kenny's hands explored his entire body more than ever before.

"Promise you'll be gentle, Kenneth?"

Pip only received an unintelligible mumble as a response and whimpered quietly as Kenny nipped and licked all over Pip's fully exposed body eagerly. Pip, disgusting in himself for giving it all up to Kenny at such a time, simply allowed Kenny to do as he chose freely. Kenny didn't even notice his boyfriend's terrified, closed eyes.


	5. Chapter V

**Chapter V**

* * *

The next morning, Kenny awoke confused, naked and alone in bed. Looking around, he could see his orange hoodie had been tossed off near the bed. Slowly dragging himself out of bed and grabbing a fresh outfit, Kenny retreated to the shower in attempt to rid himself of yet another terrible hangover.

An hour later, Kenny finally felt well enough to dress and go downstairs to find Pip cleaning the house, which was in a terrible state after the party.

Pip looked nearly as bad as the house. Limping, looking dead tired and drank what smelt like a strong coffee: Totally unlike Pip, who adored tea.

"Pipkins?"

Pip jumped in surprise before turning around slowly.

"Oh… Hello Kenneth."

"Don't clean, I'll take care of it."

"Oh no, it's quite alright."

"Fine… Hey, Pip?"

"Yes?"

"Why was I naked this morning?"

Pip paused.

"Oh… Cartman stole your clothes. I think the rest of it is still in the basement."

"Er, okay."

Kenny eyed his dear friend suspiciously. Shrugging it off, Kenny entered the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Raiding the freezer, Kenny could only find frozen fish, fries, bread and English Muffins.

"Pip, you got any frozen waffles?"

"Truly sorry Kenneth, but I don't."

"Damn." Kenny grabbed an English muffin and ate it, still frozen.

"Not bad."

Pip entered the kitchen, still with a slight limp.

"You _could_ use the toaster, you know." Pip smiled slightly.

"Nah, I like it this way."

Pip shrugged and returned to cleaning, still acting unusually distant towards Kenny, until the telephone rang.

"It must be for you, nobody used to call me until you moved in."

Kenny picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey dude, how was it?" Kyle's voice could be heard.

"What?"

"Heh, don't want to talk about it while Pip's around? You're such a pussy for that boy."

"What the hell-

"Anyways, dude, can you hang out today?"

"I guess so."

"Meet me at my place in a few?"

"'Kay."

Kenny hung up and turned to Pip.

"Kyle wants to hang out, he sounded a bit sad. Will you be okay here?"

"Certainly, Kenneth. Have fun."

Kenny strode over to Pip, who seemed to back away slightly. Kenny leaned in for a kiss and though Pip was reluctant, he allowed Kenny. However, as Kenny's tongue attempted to explore into Pip's mouth, Pip kept his lips unusually sealed tight. Having respect for Pip, Kenny backed off and though hurt, forced a smile.

"See ya later." Kenny said as he left.

As Pip watched Kenny head down the street towards Kyle's house, he slowly sank into his now filthy sofa. Pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly, Pip began to sob into his legs.

Meanwhile, Kyle and Kenny walked towards Cartman's house together.

"So, you gonna tell me?"

"What?"

"How it was!"

"How what was?"

"The sex!"

"The WHAT?"

"You know… Finally banging the Brit!"

Kenny stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Kyle.

"Oh Jesus, don't tell me you can't remember what you did last night…"

Kenny, still stunned, barely managed to shake his head no.

"Damn. I could hear you at it from the living room!"

"But I TOLD Pip I wanted to be sober for my first time with him! I specifically said so!"

"You were far from sober dude."

Kenny stood in complete silence as he tried to remember anything at all from the previous night.

"…You okay, man?"

"C'mon Kyle. I need a beer."

Kenny only returned home in the evening, wasted, to find a note written in elegant script taped to the bedroom door.

"Dear Kenneth,

Gone to the store.

Will bring back waffles.

Love,

Pip Pirrup

XOX"

Kenny crumpled the note up and entered the bedroom, heading straight for his bottle of vodka.

Pip returned home half an hour later. Entering the kitchen, Pip dropped his bag in shock when he was suddenly face to face with a completely wasted, angry Kenny.

"Kenneth! You've been drinking!"

"No shit, slut." Kenny garbled. Pip gasped in fear and quickly backed up to the wall.

"P-pardon?"

"You slept with meh! While I was drunk!"

"Y-you wanted to! We m-made an a-agreement!"

"Noooo, I most certainly DIDN'T!"

"You promised you'd stop drinking if we-

"Shut it!" Kenny glared at him and raised a fist angrily. Pip cowered in fear, covering his face with his hands in attempt to protect him. Luckily for Pip, after as much beer and vodka as Kenny had digested, his perception was terrible and the first blow missed Pip by inches.

"Y-you're becoming just like your p-parents K-Kenneth!" Pip cringed in terror when he saw the look that spread over Kenny's already furious face.

Pip squealed loudly; Kenny's second punch had much better aim.


	6. Chapter VI

**Chapter VI**

* * *

The next day, Kenny awoke with a pounding headache. About to take his usual morning shower, Kenny looked down at his hands to see dried blood.

Abandoning his shower, Kenny ran around the house desperately searching for Pip, getting an appalling feeling in his gut that something was terribly wrong. Kenny couldn't even find a note.

However, Kenny did come upon gruesome remains of the previous day. There was a terrible dent in the dining room wall with splattered blood on the floor. Kenny got on his knees and found the heart locket he had given Pip two months passed that had been ripped off of Pip's neck and lay broken on the ground near the blood, as well as a small piece of a chipped tooth and worst of all, Pip's prized grey-brown British hat that he went nowhere without.

Kenny snatched the hat and slowly began to piece together what must have taken place the night before as he vaguely recalled his conversation with Kyle that he had had… Before he had started to binge drink in rage.

Kenny's heart began to race when he heard the doorbell ring. He ran to the door.

"Pip!" He exclaimed as he flung the door open.

"God, Kenny it's me!" Stan rolled his eyes, but gasped in shock when Kenny abruptly grabbed him by the front of his shirt and lifted him off his feet.

"Listen man, where the fuck is Pip?"

"Why the hell would I know?"

Kenny let Stan go and turned to continue searching the house.

"Dude! You've gotta get to school!"

"Fuck that, I have to find Pip."

"Man, have you two been having sex all this time?"

"How do YOU know about that?!"

"Everyone does… Who COULDN'T hear you two moaning and groaning in the bedroom last Saturday night?"

"Oh god… I have to find him! Go to school without me!"

"No way dude. You know you'll get expelled if you miss another day of school this month. You're coming!"

"But Pip-

"I'm sure Pip got up earlier and caught the bus. But you were lazy, so now we've gotta walk."

Kenny sighed in defeat and followed Stan to school miserably. Kenny and Stan entered homeroom together, Kenny searching the full class desperately for Pip, who had the same homeroom as Kenny and Stan. No Pip.

After homeroom, Kyle found Kenny at his locker, packing his bag.

"Dude, what's up?"

"I have to find Pip, he's missing."

"…You didn't hear?"

"Hear WHAT?"

"Butters found him while he was walking to school today, apparently. They say he slipped on ice or something, I hear it's pretty bad."

"Oh god!" Kenny slammed his locker shut and ran as fast as he could, ignoring his friends' protests, not stopping until he finally reached Hell's Pass Hospital. Panting, he asked every single person where he could find his dear Philip Pirrup.

"Are you a friend?"

"Yes! Yes please! Where is he?"

The nurse pointed down the hall.

"Sixth door to your right."

Kenny rushed to the door and burst in, causing Pip to squeak in terror.

"Oh… Oh my… Please… D-don't…"

Pip stuttered as he looked at Kenny in horror. Kenny returned that same look as he saw how much damage had truly been done. Pip's lower lip was split and swelling, his cheek purple from a nasty bruise and a small patch of his blond tresses were ripped out. His left ankle and knee appeared to be broken and bandaged.

Pip cringed in fear as Kenny crumpled to the ground in tears, murmuring things such as, "what the hell have I done?"

"K-Kenneth?"

Kenny slowly looked up.

"It… It wasn't your_ entire_ fault, I mean… I hurt my leg myself when I s-slipped… It h-hurts q-quite a lot…"

"It's my fault you slipped on that ice!"

Pip watched in silence as Kenny cried in the corner of his hospital room.

"You really hurt me, Kenneth." Pip whispered.

"I know… Look at you! I love you so much and THIS is how I treat you? What the fuck is wrong with me?!"

"T-This isn't w-what hurts the most, K-Kenneth."

"What do you mean? Your face is purple goddammit!

"It hurts more than you didn't keep your promise."

"What promise?"

"The one we made… That night."

"Pip… Sweetheart… You know I can't remember anything that happened on _that _night…"

"You said…" Pip sighed nervously, "You said you'd never drink again, if I made lo - Had sex with you…"

"Jesus, I'm worse than I even thought!" Kenny banged his head repeatedly on the hospital wall, making Pip sit up.

"Kenneth! Stop that!"

Kenny sighed and slowly approached the bed.

"How long will you be in here for?"

"They're letting me go later today if all is well. Butters said he would help me home."

"I've… I've got matters to attend to. Promise me you'll get well soon?"

"Only if you don't do anything… Silly."

"Silly?"

"I think you know what I mean, Kenneth."

Kenny sighed.

"As tempting as it may seem… Don't worry Pip, I'd rather be alive with you hating me than dead with you still hating me."

"I don't hate you, Kenneth."

Kenny leaned forward to peck Pip on his lips, but quickly backed off when he had a sudden flash back of himself, punching Pip square in the face, and Pip's now split and sore lip. Pip sighed quietly.

Pip watched Kenny slowly pull the bulge that was in his pocket out, revealing Pip's dear hat. Kenny had cleaned the small droplets of blood that had stained the grey-brown material and carefully placed it on Pip's head.

"My hat!" Pip finally sounded like his old, cheery self as he felt his favourite hat being placed on his head. Pip even managed a smile.

"Take care." Kenny kissed the top of Pip's hat before turning to leave.

"Cheerio, Kenneth. I suppose I will see you when I get home?"

Kenny faltered.

"Maybe."


	7. Chapter VII

**Chapter VII**

* * *

Pip lay in his hospital bed, looking out the window sadly.

_I was ever so scared. Kenneth had left me, I was sure of it. It had been four hours, thirty-seven minutes and twelve… thirteen… fourteen… seconds, since he last visited me. Kenneth didn't even call. I doubt he wanted to even look at me after what he'd done to my face, maybe he was mad at himself, but it hurt even more that he won't see me. I knew my face was a mess, I looked worse than usual, but I had hoped Kenneth wouldn't have found my face too foul to view._

_Kenneth should have known I will always love him, no matter what. He has helped me so much and made me so much more… Alive? Yes, that's it. Kenneth has made me more alive than I ever was before. I've never been happier than with Kenneth. Certainly, my face had never been in so much terrible pain, but this is just the extent I'm willing to go for Kenneth._

_"Oh hiya Pip!" I heard the cheery southern voice of my good friend, Butters Stotch, as he looked at me from the doorway._

_"Hello, Butters." I forced a smile. He was not quite who I wanted to see._

_"You ready to go home?" Butters rubbed his knuckles together, one of his many unique traits._

_"I suppose… I'll need help."_

_"Of course! Why that's what I'm here for, Pip!"_

_Butters carried my crutches over to me. I had had a difficult time with the nurse as I tried to walk with them for the first time. I had wished so badly Kenneth would show up to comfort me, but that never did happen. They really did hurt my arms. The nurses had gotten me some towels to make them a bit more comfortable, but it really changed nothing. Butters helped me out of bed and handed the wretched things to me. Hopping like a fool, I followed Butters out of the hospital as he guided me home._

_"Is Kenneth at my house?" I asked hopefully as we turned to my street._

_"Oh shucks, I don't think so! Kenny's in the hospital!"_

_"WHAT?" I stopped abruptly. Butters kept walking and talking for a few feet before he realised I had stopped._

_"What's wrong Pip?"_

_"Kenneth's in the hospital? He didn't listen to me, did he? He tried to hurt himself!"_

_"Oh golly no Pip!"_

_"Then WHAT?!"_

_"Well, you see Pip, Kenny's in the special hospital. I think that kindergarten teacher Ms. Stevenson went there once…"_

_"Kenneth is in a rehabilitation center?"_

_"Yeah, for drinking. That seems a bit silly, if Kenny stops drinking, why, he'll get dehydrated!"_

_Despite Butters' foolish logic, I had never been happier. All I could do was lean on my crutches in the snow, smiling more than I had in weeks._

_"What's so great, Pip?"_

_"Oh, you wouldn't understand, Butters."_

_"Try me!"_

_"Kenneth checking himself into a rehabilitation center is the most loving thing he could ever do for me."_

_"You have a fetish for boys in rehab?"_

_"No Butters… Come on, we have to go see him!"_

_"Aw shucks, do we have to?"_

_"Yes! Right away!"_

_Butters grumbled something under his breath and we turned around. I limped as quickly as I could with my crutches to the South Park Rehabilitation Center. I could see plenty of townspeople going in, and nearly as many coming out. I joined the crowd of people entering and quickly asked for Kenneth McCormick._

"Mr. McCormick?" A nurse peeked her head into Kenny's small room.

"Mmhm?" Kenny managed to mumble, looking up from his bed.

"You have visitors."

"Oh God, it is my parents?"

"They're a bit too young to be your parents I believe."

"Fine, let them in."

Pip slowly entered, making Kenny shoot up from his bed to help him. Kenny carefully guided Pip to the bed and sat him down.

"What are you doing here, Pip?"

"I had to see you when Butters told me you were here!"

"You need to go home and rest."

"No! I want to see you!"

"Pip… You have to go home. We shouldn't see each other anymore. It's too dangerous."

"I don't care."

"I do! I never want to hurt you again… You don't deserve a drunken bastard as a boyfriend. You're better than that. You can find someone else."

"But I don't want to!"

"Well you have to."

To Kenny's surprise, Pip let go of one of his crutches and smacked him across his face.

"I thought you said you loved me." Pip whispered angrily.

"I still love you Pip! Too much to let you date a little fuck like me."

"Well what if I want to date a little fuck like you? Did you think of that?"

Kenny stared, stunned, at Pip's enraged face for a minute, until he burst out giggling.

"Why are you laughing?" Pip glared, "This is serious matter!"

"You… You said fuck!" Kenny continued giggling.

"So? You do all the time!"

"But you _never_ swear!"

"I know! But I'm angry!"

"Oh, Pip… I love you, you perfect little Brit." Kenny threw his arms around Pip's shocked body and hugged him as tightly as he could.

"Aw, well isn't that sweet?" Butters said as he watched Kenny kiss Pip's brow repeatedly. Pip giggled softly and clung to Kenny.

"Visiting hours are over boys… Oh, er, perhaps I should let them finish up… You boys have five minutes." The nurse gazed at Kenny and Pip, both oblivious to those around them.

"Pip! The nurse lady wants us to go." Butters said as the nurse left.

Pip looked sadly at Kenny, who returned the sad gaze.

"I'll visit you tomorrow, Kenny, I promise." Pip smiled slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Alright… Have a goodnight, Pipkins."

"You too. Cheerio, Kenneth!"

"Cheerio Pip."

Pip giggled softly and with Kenny's help, stood back up and walked to the door with his crutches.

"Oh, hey Pip, wait!"

Pip turned his head.

"I bought this before I got in here." Kenny walked over to Pip and carefully put a new, golden locket on a chain around his neck.

"Oh… It's beautiful, Kenneth. Thank you! I hope it wasn't too expensive…"

"Don't worry about it. I love you."

"I love you too, Kenneth."

Kenny gave Pip a final kiss on his nose, carefully dodging any bruised skin, before Pip and Butters were obliged to leave.

Kenny returned to bed and picked up the book he had been viewing before his visitors arrived: His photo album. Kenny flipped through pages of he and his best friends as children, pictures from his old beer bashes and, his favourite pictures of all, the ones Butters had so kindly taken of him and Pip Pirrip together.

It was going to be a long recovery.


	8. Chapter VIII

**Chapter VIII**

* * *

Kenny slowly walked up to the front door of Pip's house, excited yet a nervous feeling in his stomach. He could see into the house through the dining room window, although the blinds were shut, he could just barely make out two figures. One was clearly his darling Pip, shorter and slimmer than the other figure. The other, twitching, was Tweek, sipping a coffee. It was four o'clock on a Tuesday, which meant it was tea time.

Every Tuesday, Pip made tea and invited all his friends. Kenny and Tweek, with the occasional visit from Butters, were the only people who ever came. Both Kenny and Tweek hated tea, so Tweek brought his own Tweak Coffee and Kenny's tea had more milk and sugar in it than tea itself, only drinking it to please Pip. After the months in rehab, Kenny missed those sweet Tuesday nights with Pip, despite the terrible tasting tea he despised so much.

Kenny sighed and nervously rang the doorbell. The door slowly opened not long later and he smiled at the sight before him. Pip wasn't wearing his usual fancy British outfit.

Pip stood, holding his favourite tea cup in one hand, dressed in one of Kenny's orange parkas. Kenny was much taller than Pip, making his parka almost to Pip's knees. Pip had his little British on and knee-high fuchsia socks on while he stared at Kenny with a look of shock.

"I'm all better Pip. They let me home early." Kenny smiled. He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around the surprised blond and just hold and kiss him, but he couldn't. After all he had done to Pip, the sudden grab was too risky, the last thing he wanted to do was scare Pip.

Pip beat him to it, though. Pip squeaked happily, saying something Kenny didn't get a chance to hear before Pip jumped on him in a tight embrace, spilling tea all over himself, Kenny and the floor.

"You're home! You're home!" Pip squealed happily.

Kenny smiled and looked down at the delighted Brit, carefully flicking some of Pip's hair out of his face.

"You look amazing… You've healed up perfectly. How is your leg?"

Pip backed up and began to hop on the one leg that had previously been broken, making Kenny burst into laughter.

"Back to normal?"

"Right-o Kenneth!" Pip smiled before jumping back into another tight hug, clinging to Kenny's body.

"My parka comfy?"

"Oh! I hope you don't mind, I've been wearing it to bed for a little while. It smells nice."

Kenny laughed.

"That old thing smelt like booze and dirt!"

"No, it smelt of you Kenneth!"

"Well _I _smelt of booze and dirt."

"Not anymore though, right Kenneth?"

"Right-o." Kenny grinned, kissing Pip for the first time in over a month. Since visiting was only allowed on weekdays during the day, Pip's only chance to see Kenny was if he left class. After missing much school during the first month or so of Kenny's stay in rehab, Pip had to return to class and discontinue his frequent visits.

"Jesus! W-what the hell's g-going on?" Tweek came to find Pip and Kenny in the doorway.

"Look! Kenneth is better!" Pip smiled excitedly at Tweek, holding Kenny's hand tightly.

"K-Kenny! You're back?"

"Yep. It's good to be back."

"Will you join us for tea, Kenneth?" Pip smiled hopefully.

"Sure." Kenny followed Pip into the kitchen, which was clean as always, with a pot of tea on the table and biscuits beside it.

Pip eagerly poured Kenny a cup of tea and got out the milk and sugar for him.

"Thanks Pipkins."

Pip simply smiled merrily and sat down. Tweek resumed his seat, leaving no where for Kenny.

"Oh! I'll go get you a chair, Kenneth!" Pip jumped up.

"May I sit under you?"

Pip cocked his head questioningly, so Kenny demonstrated by sitting down at Pip's seat and pulling the Brit onto his lap.

"Oh! Oh, of course!" Pip smiled and rearranged himself to get comfortable on Kenny's lap.

Kenny mixed his tea with the usual insane amount of milk and sugar so that he could hardly taste Pip's precious English tea.

"So no more drinking, K-Kenny?" Tweek asked as he sipped his coffee.

"Nope."

"That's smashing!" Pip kissed his cheek happily.

"So what are you doing now that you're o-out?" Tweek continued.

"Well, my parents want me to come back home," Kenny saw the sadness that spread over Pip's face, "But the rehab center assured me I could continue living here, since there was too many bad influences at home."

"Splendid! I… I mean, you staying here…"

"I know, you silly Brit. I have to visit Cartman and the guys tonight at some point, but I can stick around here for a while."

"Wonderful! But, Tweek was just leaving." Pip looked to Tweek.

"Gah! I was?"

"Yes yes Tweek, have you forgotten already?"

"What?! I guess I have! Oh God!"

"Well, better run along now Tweek! Nice seeing you!" Pip hopped off Kenny's lap and quickly escorted Tweek to the door before returning to Kenny.

"You can't expect me to believe that you didn't just kick Tweekers out."

"You've been gone for nearly three months, surly I can get some time alone with you before you see your friends?"

"Whatever you want, Pipkins." Kenny smiled.

"I have a question for you I've wanted to ask you for quite some time."

"Oh?"

"Where did you get all the money in the black box?"

Kenny sighed softly.

"You went into the box, eh?"

"I'm sorry Kenneth, but it disturbed me. I had to see what the fuss was about."

Kenny shifted in his seat nervously and sighed again.

"Well, my parents are dealers."

"What kind of dealers?" Pip asked curiously. Kenny sighed for a third time.

"Drug dealers, Pip. They used to have a meth lab when I was a kid, now they just deal. They're so wasted all the time that their stashes used to get stolen constantly… So they left it with me in the locked box."

"Oh my!"

"Exactly, Pip. I can't stand meth, so I sold it all to get us some money for food. But that was my parents' personal stash. Needless to say when they went to a fix, they were pissed."

"They didn't find the money?"

"Too drunk to remember about the bottom compartment, I guess."

"So… So you're not that poor?"

Kenny shook his head no.

"Up until last year, I've worked multiple jobs since I was fourteen. I saved every penny, plus now I have the meth money too. I wanted to help my parents and my family, but I don't consider them my family. They're not getting a penny."

"What will you do with it all?"

"I still want to help my family with it."

"But you said-

"You're the only family I have now, Pip." Kenny smiled. Pip blushed and kissed Kenny.

"That's all I need to know, Kenneth." Pip wrapped his arms around Kenny tightly.

"Did you miss me, Pipkins?"

"That's a very stupid question Kenneth." Pip said, making Kenny shrug.

"Just wondering."

Pip grabbed Kenny by his hand and began to pull him upstairs.

"Where are you taking me?"

"The bedroom. You want to know if I've missed you?"

"Mhm."

"I'll show you just how much I've missed you."

Pip let go of Kenny's hand and pranced into the bedroom, throwing off his hat and jumping onto the bed. Lying down, he looked to Kenny and grinned. Kenny was on the bed in half a second.


	9. Chapter IX

**Chapter IX**

* * *

"Are you _sure _you want to do this, Pip?" 

"Yes, Kenneth, for the last bloody time, I'm one-hundred-percent certain!"

"I'm just scared I'll hurt you…"

"Trust me, Kenneth. If you are sober, there's no way this shall hurt half as much as the first time. Just be gentle."

"I will, I will."

Their voices, as well as the sound of Kenny's parka that Pip wore hitting the floor, could be heard from outside the door, where Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Tweek stood, listening in.

"Is that really them in there?" Stan asked quietly, a look of curiosity on his face as the four could hear more clothes hitting the ground.

"Y-yeah it is! Gah!" Tweek's eyes widened as Kyle's hand quickly covered his mouth.

"Be quiet, they'll find out we were listening!" Kyle hissed quietly at the shaky blond boy.

"You ready Pip? It's still not too late to change your mind…"

"My mind is not going to change! I want this!"

"You want what?" The four boys could tell simply by that all-too famous tone of voice that Kenny was smirking.

"You!" Pip squeaked.

"Me to what?"

"To… To fuck me, Kenneth!"

All four boys looked at each other with wide eyes at the little Brit's statement. Cartman looked sick as soft grunts could be heard from the two in the bedroom.

"Do you want me to stop?" Kenny's voice could be heard.

"No!" Pip was quick to answer, followed by a soft moan of pleasure from the Brit.

"You guys are so faggy. I'm leaving." Cartman, still looking sick, took off as fast as he could down the stairs. None of them heard the front door open, though. Instead, they could hear the refrigerator door being opened.

"Fat ass found the food." Kyle giggled softly as the three continued to listen in on their friend. They were all shocked to hear the moaning of both blond boys in the bedroom getting louder.

"Maybe we should go wait in the kitchen…" Kyle suggested as quietly as he could, trying to talk over the loud gasps and groans from behind the bedroom door.

"Yeah. C'mon, Tweek."

The three boys were walking downstairs just as Pip shouted out Kenny's name. They picked up their pace and joined Cartman in the kitchen, who was stuffing his face with cookies and scones, still looking disgusted by what he had heard previously.

In the bedroom, the two lay on the bed next to each other, panting. Pip looked to Kenny, sweaty and tired, and smiled. Kenny smiled back at the smaller blond.

"Wow…" Pip whispered, making Kenny smile more.

"Yeah."

"We just… That was… Wow."

Kenny beamed proudly and pulled the Brit close, pulling the blanket over the two of them and resting his chin on Pip's shoulder.

"Better than our first time?" Kenny whispered in Pip's ear.

"This was our first time." Pip whispered back, wrapping his arms tightly around Kenny, still panting softly. Kenny kissed Pip as he ran his fingers through the boy's soft, sweaty tresses of hair.

"K-Kenneth?"

"Yes, Pipkins?"

"I want to try something. But I've never done it before."

"Well, what's that, beautiful?" Kenny smiled at the smaller boy, kissing him on his nose. Kenny grinned with delight as Pip slid under the blankets.

"I don't want you to be disappointed; Kenny, but I don't really know how to do it…" Pip's muffled voice said to Kenny, who spread his legs and was smiling profoundly.

"It would help if you told me what you wanted to do."

Pip's head popped up from under the blankets, smiling at Kenny.

"Well… I uh… I…" Pip began to blush, "I thought you would rather like a blowjob. I just don't know how to do that."

"You'll know if you're doing something right. Get back down there." Kenny grinned and gently pushed Pip's head back under the blankets, tangling his fingers in the now messy locks of blond hair.

"God dammit they're at it again, aren't they?" Kyle groaned as he could hear Pip's name being shouted from the kitchen.

"This is so wrong, dude." Stan said as he chomped on a cookie. The four sat in the kitchen in complete silence, aside from the nervous squeak from Tweek every so often.

The four froze as they heard footsteps going down the stairs, and all eyes turned to the kitchen entrance as Pip entered, in nothing but Kenny's t-shirt and Kenny's boxers, skipping happily towards the kitchen cupboard. The merry Brit made it only a few feet into the kitchen when he noticed the four, making all the color drain from his face as Tweek fell off his chair with a 'GAH!'

Pip immediately grabbed the bottom of Kenny's shirt, pulling it down quickly to cover himself up as much as he could.

"Oh, hi Pip." Stan tried to act casually, though he was blushing red at the sight of the fresh-from-bed Brit.

"…Ello Stanley… Erm, Kenneth, we have-

Pip didn't have a chance to warn Kenny before the clearly blissful blond walked in, completely naked. This only caused the four boys and Pip to blush more, though even when Kenny saw his four guests, he still seemed perfectly content and unashamed of anything.

"Oh, hey guys." Kenny walked past the four and put an arm around his embarrassed boyfriend, kissing Pip's brow. Pip smiled shyly and held Kenny's hand, still eyeing the four boys nervously and holding the t-shirt down with his one free hand.

"Tweek told us you were back so we came to say Hi. I guess you were, uh, busy…" Kyle forced a smile for his friend. Kenny grinned and nodded his head.

"Very busy with cutie over here." Kenny squeezed the smaller blond boy tight, kissing his nose.

"Why am I surrounded by homos?!" Cartman looked at Kenny in disgust before grabbing the bag of cookies he had been eating and leaving. Kenny simply rolled his eyes and leaned in for a kiss, getting a quick peck from a still shy Pip.

"Look guys, as much as I love you all, unless one of you plan to spread your legs and let me fuck you on the kitchen table, I suggest you get out and wait for me to come visit you, because I'm horny and-

Tweek jumped up fast, twitching, and took off for the door. Stan and Kyle both laughed before standing up.

"Oh, is it a foursome now?" Kenny grinned, his arm still tightly around a red-faced British boy.

"Sorry, we're going to have to pass on that one. Have fun with the British kid." Kyle grinned at the two.

"Oh, I will."

"We know you will. C'mon Kyle." Stan grinned before exiting with Kyle, leaving the two blondes together. Kenny grinned down at the smaller boy, who smiled innocently back up at him.

"Now, about that kitchen table, Pip…."


End file.
